Dear Ed Hardy,
Rawr. Ahem, excuse us. For years our species has represented royalty, fearlessness and wrath. Tigers have been feared as fierce jungle predators, our image has been a symbol for great kingdoms and arguably, for nobility itself. Recently, images like this:
have been coming to our attention. More and more, awful D List celebrites have been seen wearing your designs, with OUR faces splattered all over them! Your tiger emblazoned clothing has been seen on the worst of the worst: Heidi and Spencer, Britney Spears, Zack Efron and we aren’t sure who this Jon Gosselin person is, but he certainly seems like a douche.
We hereby order you to cease and desist! Normally, we are not man eaters but we all remember what happened with a certain gay magician who INSISTED on irritating us by constantly wearing that tiger print thong aroud the pool. RAWR. Excuse us.
I think we have made our point. Stop using douchey celebrities to promote your tacky clothes. In fact, just stop making clothes altogether! Trucker hats should be worn by truckers, not anorexic hotel heiresses.
Best,
Tigers
5 Reasons why your girlfriend loves “Twilight” so much
I did a little research and I think I’ve figured out why this piece of literature has struck such a chord with female readers.
Take a look at this video I found on YouTube if you’re ready to work out the way they did back in the 80’s. People these days try so hard to lose wait doing yoga, eating boring low-carb diets, even getting that Carnie Wilson stomach surgery thing. These ladies had it figured out twenty years ago! All you need is a bottle of hairspray and a pile of cocaine. Like a really big pile. Seriously like so, so much cocaine.
